Bondage

I feel Bondage is very much like marmite. You either love it of you hate it, or you’re not actually sure what the black stuff is really all about. For some people it’s a delicious way of spicing up bedtime where as others tend to bolt for the door screaming if someone mentions handcuffs.

If you’re going to try it, obviously you must talk to your partner about it first. You can’t very well just be running around wearing a gimp mask, kidnapping your girlfriend from her lollypop lady job and caging her without her consent or knowledge. Also as with the rules of threesomes, make sure you have a set of rule that you’re happy with. If one doesn’t want to be slapped with one’s roast chicken then one must oblige and leave the poultry in the fridge.

Next is to come up with a code word. Don’t make it stop, no, or don’t as people can often add words like that into the whole sexual mix to make it more exciting, also those words are quite boring. But then you don’t want to choose anything that sounds like something else. For example Tool kit drawer, while saying it in the throes of passion may sound like do it more and then you’re going to have problems. I find that Swinging tuna bat lamp works for me.  No confusion.

Now what you use is up to personal taste. If you’re just starting out don’t get all Katy-Kissing-a-girl excited and sell your sofa and oven in order to buy a range of hanging cages. You might not like it and then you’ll have a useless cage just lying about with clothes and other crap flung over it. Just like anyone who has an exercise bike in their house.

Start small. Blindfolds are most commonly used amongst lesbians. What I like about them is that anything can be used to pleasure you and not seeing those things gives you unexpected sensations. So yes you may have had the best throw-your-hands-up-scream-out-loud-shake-then-pass-out orgasm and you won’t know that your girlfriend was actually using an umbrella and a piece of broccoli. And probably never will.

For the mouth there is of course the Gag or ball which restricts the person from talking. I don’t really like this one as I am quite a fan of the dirty talk and if it was to be used on me, I think a partner might prefer to use it in the cinema. Not because we enjoy bondage time in the back row of the cinema but just to stop me talking through the film and eating popcorn loudly.

With tying each other up you don’t have to stick to handcuffs or rope, use anything you can grab during sex without having to leave the bed in this freezing British July weather. Bed linen, tights,   Asda’s strawberry laces (they are a lot stronger then you’d think they’d be) or the knickers that you’ve just taken off.

Once you’ve discovered the things you like and the things you really get-that-the-hell-away-from-me don’t then you can carry on exploring the bondage theme. You’re surrendering your body to someone else and letting them do what they want and letting them have all the choosing-what-when-and-how power. Combine that with some sort of buzzing teasing battery power and you’re on to a winner.

In my eyes it’s one of those why not things. Why not try it. Why not hold down your partner and use the whip you got as a kinky present. It doesn’t have to be the traditional in-the-dark-using-lots-of-black-leathery-stuff to be classed as bondage. If you like the beach, then why not tie your girlfriend up with stands of seaweed and spank her with a starfish? Whatever rocks your marmite covered boat.