The Slippery Stuff.
It’s what a lot of people use in the bedroom and yet most of us seem to be sticking with the KY Jelly and not using what suits them. So whatever you like doing in the bedroom find one that works for you.
So first up is the one that you can pick up in tescos and then try and hide it under your bag of crispy salad while it’s going through the tills. The Durex range are a trusting brand as they also make condoms and for straight people that stops 1 plus 1 equalling 3.
They do a lot of varieties from the usual sweet smelling stuff to the tingly variety that can help you orgasm better if that’s what you need, or faster if you’re in a rush and have washing to do or a giraffe to feed.
The texture is good and had everything sliding in and out in all the right ways but the feeling on your skin feels really weird. Like you’ve covered yourself in furniture polish, and you keep sliding off your partner. It can be swimming agasint the tide exhausting so to speak trying to stay on and you’re grabbing bits of flesh, hair and nipples trying to stay on board so don’t use too much.
For the more sensitive creature and if like me you’re allergic to anything that’s fun, ( lubes, washing up liquid, bath salts etc) then try this one. Sylk is made with kiwifruit vine extract if you please which makes me imagine someone in Chelsea eating it on a brochette for their lunch. There are no synthetic ingredients at all and the lube mimics the natural environment of your bits so it’s all eating-raisins-and-drinking-fresh-yoghurt natural.
If you like your sex toys then use something like Hydra smooth as even though it’s still affective iit’s very much water based meaning it won’t wreck your hard earned hard worked toys. There’s nothing worse than being all geared up and then you get the dildo out and it looks like a hamster’s chewed most of it off it for lunch. This one is also glycerine free which will have every sensitive vagina out there sighing in relief.
You can’t use water based stuff for long though as after a while it gets a bit sticky. You might be raring to go for 46 hours but the lube will not.
Liquid Silk is a luxurious lube. And it moisturzes your skin so really it’s a two in one deal. Like when you get free side salad when you buy a toastie. If you don’t want to be spending a lot and so far you’ve been using water, Vaseline or butter as a lubricant then this one is fab. Cheap and cheerful.
If you like going for a dive often. Sorry, I know, I disgust myself sometimes with the words that come into my head. But if you do like going down on your girl then choose the juicy lube range as the tastes are amazing. The mint one stimulates everything, it will stimulate things you never even knew that you had down there. It does taste a little like toothpaste though.
The chocolate raspberry is simply beautiful. It’s like being on a date down there tucking into a delicious pudding. The Pina Colada is like getting drunk. Chuck a bit of sand around and you’ll probably feel like you’re on holiday. The bubblegum blast tastes like a sweet shop. It’s like freaking Willy Wonka down there. The peach one is a bit sickly as I don’t really like peaches anyway. I get bored after one taste of a peach really and it was the same with the lube. The girl was not impressed when I told her this.
Oh and this might be obvious, but don’t get too carried away with the lovely taste and you know, bite.
And let’s not forget the people who like to do their exercise in the shower and bath. The Überlube is waterproof so you can play underwater to your heart’s content. And if you happen to like the taste of down below. Not your own obviously that would take some amazing gymnastic ability. If you find out how to do though then give me a heads up so to speak. What was I saying? Oh yes this Lube doesn’t have any taste so it’s a nice alternative to the other flavoured ones too.
There are so many brands available for what ever you like doing. Check the ingredients because ending up with itchy bits is never to anyones liking and make sure you get one you like the taste of as spitting it out might ruin the mood. Once you’ve sorted that I think you’re good to lube up and slide on.