Beth Ditto is hilarious to watch as she genuinely does not give a shit. About anything. She strutted on to stage in Vfest holding her drink, put on a British accent and told the crowd that she didn’t think that Professor Green had the credentials to call himself a professor. It was the last performance of their tour this year and I had made sure I was standing, with my little cider, in the huge tent ready to watch about an hour before she was even on.

The song Love Long Distance was my favourite as I love the lyrics. ‘You’re making me crazy but way that you’ve been acting lately I need more of your assistance now’. I think sometimes you get caught up in the dancing of Gossip’s music and don’t listen to lyrics.  The words ‘You did it to me once, you’ll do it again’ were sung quite loudly by a woman next to me who in her drunken state was maybe imagining her boyfriend in front of her as she pointed at nothing crossly, and gave him the finger. All part of the fun.

Once Beth got an applause she said ‘cheers bitches,’ to which everyone screamed. She talks to the audience like she knows them which I think is different from any other singer and a lot better than saying ‘make some noise enter-location-here,’ She seems to immerse herself in her songs and before doing the intro to ‘Please don’t stop the music,’ she said that she was in love with music and it was her life.

When she sang it takes two, I was jumping around in the mud like no mans business and I even forgot for a moment the disappointment of finding a fly in pancake earlier on. The drumming was so good but I can’t work out whether it’s because it was, or whether it’s because I fancy Kathy Mendonca. The woman next to me had drank even more by this point and was now slow dancing with herself.  I shit you not. The crazyness that is V.

They finished the set with ‘Standing in the way of control,’ her most popular by far and let the crowd sing bits for her. And you do hear how truly when-it-snows-and-theres-no-school amazing her voice is. She is pitch perfect, it makes you wish you’d learnt to sing as a child and she can hold a note for longer than it took me to fish the fly out of my only decent food of the weekend and have a little cry about it.

She has a lot of fun, clapping, banging on drums, posing for photos, picking up a beach ball and playing catch with the crowd and dancing around barefoot while swigging her drink. And if you’re going to play the Beth Ditto drinking game of whenever she drinks, swears, or burps into the microphone, you take a drink, you’re going to be waking-up-in-a-ditch-with-a-naked-stranger hammered.